


Suffocating

by KatyasDeadDad



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, Short, postbreakup, shalaska
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyasDeadDad/pseuds/KatyasDeadDad
Summary: I used to think that you took my breath away, but then I realised that all you did was sadistically suffocate me when you were the last bit of air I had.
Relationships: Sharon Needles/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000
Kudos: 10





	Suffocating

_I used to think that you took my breath away, but then I realised that all you did was sadistically suffocate me when you were the last bit of air I had._

_•_

Justin didn't like to say that he missed Aaron. It was forbidden, lethal, disgusting. But it was _so_ fucking hard when his ex lover seemed to take every opportunity to make it clear that he missed them. Even when Chad was there in the same room, and Alaska was filming her after show, Aaron always found a way to get his point across. The statement was disguised as Sharon, and her usual fuckery. But Justin couldn't take it much longer.

Pretending to be over Aaron was one thing, but having to force yourself to forget someone because they keep pushing your buttons for fun, now _that_ was just cruel.

Because no matter what happened, it was all brought back to Justin. He was always the one to blame. Sharon was drunk, Sharon had a fiancé, Sharon is just playing around- Sharon this, Sharon that. While Justin was suffocating, and Alaska was forced to smile.

He didn't even get to have his own interview to be about _him, and only him,_ if Sharon had performed within the past five days. "Are you still friends?" They had asked, and Alaska would turn to Sharon because she always seemed to tell the same old lie with the same confidence.

The truth is, they weren't friends.

Aaron wanted to be friends, clearly from the almost everyday texts of checking up on the man who had no intentions of replying with more than three words. For Justin knew that if he did, he'd be trapped in the hell that was Sharon fucking Needles. Or how he had been invited to the wedding that kept getting 'postponed', but Justin knew exactly what was going on.

Aaron didn't love Chad , it was so clear. They only kissed in public if Justin was near, at the same show or a couple of feet away. Chad was there to _prove_ something, that he could do so much better than Justin could. And Justin only replied with soft smiles, shyly engaging in conversation with the man who was dragged away by his ex boyfriend if the pushing didn't work. 

And it was so fucking exhausting.

They were over 30, Justin being 32 and Aaron 36, yet they were fooling each other like shy schoolgirls.

It hadn't always been like that. The first year, it had been lovely. They got time apart. But then All Stars 2 happened, and Alaska grew into the drag superstar that Sharon kept her away from becoming. Aaron didn't like that, he didn't like it one bit. Not that he was jealous, because it was out of the ordinary. Because it didn't fit his perfect little fantasy of what their life had been. Sharon protecting Alaska, Aaron protecting Justin. It was never Aaron drinking so much that Justin left, or the fights that led them both to cheating.

But that's why it would never be _them_ again.

They were both too caught up in the pain they brought each other, to realise that they could never be friends. Lovers, sure. Enemies, even better. But friends?

For them to be friends, they would have to pushback their hateful love for each other. They'd have to stop blaming each other, and most importantly, stop blaming themselves.

•

"Alaska?" Sharon's raspy smoker voice, probably fucked over by heaps of alcohol as well, pulled him out from the state of hopelessly staring into the wall. He hated that voice. He hated Sharon Needles.

"Yes?" It was grim, short, enough to piss her off. And he knew that.

"Are you okay? You've been fiddling with your costume for at least twenty minutes now."

"I can't fucking lace it up myself."

Aaron recognised that face, the expression, the voice. A temper tantrum, stressed and heartbroken. He wanted to grab his ex lover and wrap his arms around him, tell Justin that everything was okay. But he didn't have the privilege of doing that anymore, because he had fucked up.

"You need any help?"

Alaska took her time with replying, sneakingly eyeing Sharon through the mirror and acting like it was accidental even tho they held the contact for whole minutes.

"Yes please." A grin broke through Sharon's lips as she, for the first time in ages, got to approach Alaska in a helpful matter rather than professional. Even more so, got to feel the shivers that she could make rush up Alaska's skin from the simple touch of her fingers.

The corset was to be tight, though like every other corset, it was too big on the petite body of Alaska.

"Lasky, you okay?" She had asked while lacing her up, noticing how distant she had become. A soft hum in response was all she got, but it was enough. "You know.." Sharon's fingers trailed against the hem of the costume, against Alaska's shoulder blades. "I've missed you."

"Sharon." She has warned, eyeing her sternly. It was so forbidden, this exchange of shivers and Alaska's breath hitching in her throat at the sensation of the passionately rough hands of Sharon. It looked like she was about to speak, about to melt in the touch, but instead she instantly pushed up and out of her chair, standing up to leave.

"I can't fucking breathe." Was the last thing Sharon heard before her eyes had to witness her ex lover leaving.


End file.
